Meeting new people is scary, and it’s natural to feel nervous. If you fear going out and talking to people, it’s possible you have a condition called social anxiety. But for most people, it doesn’t go that far.
We want to be liked, but we often fear that we’re annoying the people around us. That, in turn, just makes us more insecure. If you want to know how to be more charismatic, the first step is ditching the insecurity.
Confidence in yourself doesn’t mean you’re arrogant, but it does mean you accept the person you are. Keep reading for four tips on how to be more likable.
There’s a cliche that “Interesting people are interested.” That oversimplifies things a bit. Yet if you don’t know what to say in a social situation, start off by listening as much as possible.
How do you let people know you’re paying attention? Nodding along in agreement is one way to do this. But don’t nod so much that you sprain your neck.
Ditch the Phone
We’ve all been to parties where everyone sits on the couch and stares at their phones. But a party should not feel like the waiting room at your dentist’s office.
Yes, smartphones are cool. But checking your phone hundreds of times a day means you’re missing out on conversations.
Phones can act as a shield to keep us from feeling vulnerable. If possible, put your phone on silent before walking into a social situation.
If that’s not possible, at least limit how often you check it. Unless you get an urgent email or text message, once an hour is plenty.
Ask People Questions
You’ve been listening for a bit and are ready to speak up. But you’re not sure what to say.
Keep the focus on other people by asking them a question about what they just said. For instance, let’s say they mentioned a childhood in California. You can ask, “What part of California are you from?”
That’s an easy question that gives them an opening to discuss their life more. In turn, that makes them feel important.
What if you’re a girl wanting to flirt with a guy? This site has the best questions for catching a guy’s interest.
But don’t only ask questions. If you do that, you’ll start to sound like a game show host, or worse yet, a police interrogator.
Make (Some) Jokes About Yourself
Self-deprecation often helps put people at ease. But don’t go overboard with the jokes about yourself.
For instance, making a joke about the year you dropped out of college to try and make it as an actor in New York is fine. But saying, “I’m such an idiot. Someone should have thrown me into the Hudson River” is not.
You can admit you’re not perfect without acting like you hate yourself. People respond a lot better to the former than the latter.
Be More Charismatic
A few people seem like naturals, but they, too, had to learn how to be more charismatic.
Figuring out how to be more influential is a lengthy process. Give yourself some breathing room as you figure things out.
Want more tips on confidence? Bookmark our site for advice that will help you lead a bolder, better life.
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